


March 8

by Gonshyk



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2019-11-20 20:10:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18131510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gonshyk/pseuds/Gonshyk
Summary: Women's day on board of Lost Light. And what term "girl" means?





	1. Holiday

**Author's Note:**

> :: comm talk  
> All pics drawn by me.

      Coming out of the laboratory and lifting his optics from the datapad with the calculations, Perceptor froze for one astrosecond. His peds took him to the Swerve's bar by inertia. The above-mentioned venue all drowned in some yellow flowers. 

  
       _What was that all about? Likely some of the many earth holidays. How? Just how Swerve were able to determine that today is the day, according to their calendar, tied to a local star, it was not clear._  

  
      The few femmes were surrounded by bots and were almost invisible behind a bunch of oddly wrapped boxes. And also, approaching the counter, Perceptor noticed that next to the femme sat Tailgate, more precisely Cyclonus, and on his knees sat minibot. He also received congratulations on a par with Nautica and Velocity.

  
       The scientist somehow squeezed to the epicenter to ask the overdue question to the minibot, but did not have time, everyone was distracted by the appearance of another couple. 

  
Rewind dragged his resisting partner by the manipulator to the bar.   
“Rew, why you decide that I'm a "girl" What a "girl" am I?” - hissed mnemosurgeon. 

  
"Superb," said the archivist without hesitation. 

  
“This is only because I have long slender servo?” Asked Chromedome with an unfortunate look.

  
“Yes! I mean, no... not just that.” Rewind did not answer at once, settling down a partner near Cyclonus.

  
A mysteriously smiling Blaster approached Chrome and handed him a datapad tied with a ribbon. Mnemosurgeon very carefully took it, turned and laid on the counter.

  
Archivist stood on tiptoes to see what brought a communications officer, but he has been already pushed and bumping into Perceptor,  
“Sorry, saw what the crowd had gathered?”

  
Scientist nodded and asked the flash a question that has been interested in, not allowing him to squeeze back.

  
“What kind of holiday do we celebrate today?”

  
“Perceptor, you hasn't read?!” Archivist was offended.

  
“Read what?” calmly refined the microscope.

  
“Yesterday I sent the newsletter for the entire crew of the Lost Light.”

  
“I didn't get anything—“Perceptor just in case decided to double-check. Really—nothing. After some thought, he decided to check the spam, and there was a new message. Scientist began to read.

  
“What about glass of H2O?”

  
“What?” Rewind turned too quickly and almost lost his balance. "It's not directly relevant—but if you're _interested -_ " he tried again to see what his partner was doing.

  
“I still don't understand what we're celebrating? We never oppressed femmbots. We had only functionalism—“ scientist thought seriously.

  
“Perceptor?” data stick stamped his foot. “It's an **earth** holiday. And celebrate it by congratulating and giving gifts to girls.”

  
“Who are the earth girls, I know,” before the mind's eye of former wrecker appeared Verity Carlo. "But who are the girls in cybertronian measure?"

  
“For simplicity, we decided that "girls" will be femmbots and one of conjux endura.

  
“It seems to me, femme can not agree -”

  
“Already agreed.”

“But -”

“Already. Can't you see?”

  
      Again the area filled with excitement, in a bar stealthily entered Drift. But he was immediately noticed and escorted to the counter. He modestly sat on a high stool and chastity folded manipulators on knee joints.

  
"Apparently Ratchet doesn't know yet," commented Rewind.

  
The voice of Brainstorm on the comm burst into the Perceptor's thoughts:  
:Percy! Where are you? I was just asking for cube of energon. Are you still figuring out the best way to do it?:

  
:Sorry, I forgot. Did you know that today is a holiday?:

  
:No.:

  
:Look at the message from yesterday, it was a newsletter.:

  
:Ah, About the glass!: in the jet's voice could be heard giggling.

  
:No, further.:

  
:Well—congratulations to some “girls”. And what are you doing there?:

  
:I'll take energon and come back.:

 


	2. Mystery

"Percy, why didn't you invite me to the bar? Instead, you ran away, " Brainstorm turned away.

 _Probably making some faces, hiding behind his mask. Not, as an honest mech..._ thought the microscope, digress from jet. For which he also paid the price. Teal scientist caught him by the nose. It seems that his pout does not last long, or it was cunningly placed trap.

"Percy, we could hang there, " jet let go of his prey and pointing fingerguns in the direction of colleague.

"We are no p -" slightly faltered former wrecker.

"For now, " Brainstorm corrected.

"What's that got to do with anything? There anybot seems to be allowed. Otherwise, why do such a newsletter?"

_At the mention of the partnership and its probable approach, Perceptor turned pale, gray, in general, dramatically changed in his faceplate._

"Percy… PERCY!" Brain took the tube with both manipulators, turning him in his direction. "Are you sick? Should we call Ratchet? I'm sure he'll understand and will not curse too much."

" All— in the normal range, " given Perceptor.

" Really? " jet asked sarcastically. "Then what does the probable deviation look like?"

" You don't wanna know, " microscope felt a strange tightness in region of his spark.

" Huh?" Brainstorm slyly narrowed his lenses. "You don't want to party, let's just sit in our secluded place."

_Perceptor nodded with detachment. In this state, it was absolutely impossible to do science._

Teal scientist deftly took colleague under the manipulator and took him back to the bar.

When they got there, they were met by a spark-rending scream belonging to Chromedome.

"Rew, I really didn't know what was in that datapad. I have nothing to do with this graven image!" _He put manipulators to his helmet, carefully portraying chevron. Seems more like horns…_

"Percy, get us a place, and I'll go see what was the matter," in an instant, jet was around his friends.

Rewind crossed manipulators over his breast plate, sternly gazing bottom-up at his partner. Nothing else in the universe interested him. Even the unfortunate datapad.

Brainstorm slid in an inaudible shadow and pulled the cause of the storm from the counter.

"What have we got here?" Asked scientist in a dramatic whisper, switching pad. Worlds sounded from the dynamics surprised everyone: _"Let's reject everything that happened between us, forget the recent past and instead remember the past that binds us. Today, on this bright day, the feast of the eighth of March — "_  

"Is he nuts or what?" Brainstorm waved datapad with the message for clarity.

Blue manipulator grabbed the datapad:

"I smell mystery here! It's not Prowl."

"Why it isn't him?" Rewind immediately jumped in. "Who else could write to my partner?"

"Prowl, of course, infernal, but not omniscient. How does he know what we have planned for today?" Nightbeat answered with a question.


	3. Girl

" Good observation, Nighty!" Contributed Nautica, immediately materializing near her friend.

  
" Then there's still the question: "Who arranged this? If it's not Prowl, then who?" Summed up Brainstorm.

  
" It doesn't look like a hologram. You could see that it is the real mech on the screen," the fan of mysteries continued.

  
" I know who it is!" Excitedly shouted Nautica. Everyone immediately looked back at her. "It's Bluestreak! Don't you remember how much he looks like Prowl? Therefore even Swerve not wanted take him on board?" Femme giggled. Swerve ran up to defend his good name, and Brainstorm decided to go back to his table. Perceptor sat, lost in his thought, therefore when his colleague approached, he felt more than saw him coming. Lifting his helmet, bot saw jet sitting as if he had never left.

  
" Percy, shall we continue our conversation?" Teal scientist asked.

  
"Yes—" not typically for Himself microscope hesitated.

  
" We were talking about us," jet said helpfully, flapping his wings slightly.

  
"N-no, we were discussing today's holiday and "girls"—" former wrecker tried to turn to the safe theme.

  
"Exactly, who the girls are? Femm — here I agree. And who is the girl between two endura? How can this be determined? After all, no one has tried to determine this yet?" Brainstorm's optics flashed with mysterious fire.

  
"But Rewind somehow identified," Perceptor pointed at mnemosurgeon. "And Drift, Ratchet is not visible, but everyone agrees that swordsmech meets all the criteria."

  
"What are the criteria? Where are they listed? " Jet inquired matter-of-factly. "It seems that the main criterion is that they are extremely passive in some matters," he thoughtfully tapped his mask.

  
"And how then to be with femmbots? They're getting out of your pattern," microscope said thoughtfully.

  
" We have very wrong femmbots. None have a partner yet... so we can't observe them from this side, that is, as an endura," Brainstorm complained.

  
"Then, for the purity of the results, we will not take them into account," suggested Perceptor.

  
" Let's, " jet agreed easily.

  
"I think the other very important qualities such as softness," microscope turned to the giggling Tailgate. "Beauty, not only physical, but sparkly," he shifted his gaze from the minibot to the Drift, and then to Chromedome.

  
" Well, Percy, it's not quite the same, or at least not all. There's a different life, one that takes place behind closed doors," Brainstorm winked at his colleague. From which he blushed and had to turn away. And miss the appearance of an indignant medic who stomped to the Drift, grabbed him by the manipulator and dragged him away. It was very much like that private life behind closed doors.

  
"Brainstorm... you mean interface?" Even more blushing, clarified microscope.

  
" Hit the bull's eye!" Jet point fingerguns on colleague, "interface — this important part of functionality, it is not good to forget about it."

  
" What about it? Well, um, we could schedule and do it on our schedule—" It's not clear what Perceptor is meant by it.

  
" Percy, Percy..." Brainstorm shook his helmet. "And for each kink will also be the place in the chart?"

  
_He's definitely laughing behind that slaging mask!_ Thought former wrecker. _And he's not even blushing!_ "I wasn't talking about this... aren't we discussed "girls"." Perceptor tried to get the conversation back on track.

  
" Of course them," jet nodded. "M, Percy, and who will a "girl" in our relations?"

  
Microscope did not even have time to notice when all the visible space was occupied by Brainstorm, who not only winked at him, but also smiled.

  
"We... we can organise schedule," softly whispered Perceptor, drawing jet for a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> The theory of a glass of water — views on love, marriage and family, which were common (especially among young people) in the early years of Soviet authority. They consisted in denying love and reducing the relationship between a man and a woman to an instinctive sexual need, which should find satisfaction without any "conventions", as simple as quenching thirst (to have sex just like drinking a glass of water).


End file.
